The white dress, my confession

I saw her in the white dress... she was a goddess, i can't fathom the feelings that i felt when i looked. I've seen her off and on many times before. It felt like a movie, when the guy asks a girl out to prom and he waits at the end of the stairs, to see something transformed, and turn his heart from lust, to love. Passion arises and stomach turns, butterflies, the jitters of hesitation on trying to stumble on words to just say "You look beautiful..." Knowing that just those three words weren't even enough to define what an angel looks like. Ever since that day i see her, i feel like a high school crush thats lost in the crowed of people. Her smile reminds me of a happier time in my life, almost back to infant times when i felt everything was okay. That leap of faith you take knowing that even though your scared, you feel like nothing can hurt you once you free fall. I feel like every time i see her.. i'm still falling in a surreal reality. She is sweet and genuine and doesn't let life get her down, her pride rises on top with her head high and wings out. She truly is.. isis of sound.. because i can't speak. Words are taking from me. I can't be myself. How do i show her how genuine i really am? does she judge me by color? body type? hight? or personality? I just want one night with her, one real conversation to open up and show her the real me. I can't i won't i'm shy... i'm stuck... i'm falling...but i can't wait to see her again.. But nice guys always finish last, and people will always look at me as, the crazy Graffiki. I'm much more then that, i' m more then a face, a picture, an image, a smile.. I'm alone, and no matter how many smiles, jokes laughs i try to encourage or participate in. No one will know how much i really want to be with someone who can treat me right and that i can admit that i'll cook for, buy cards, or flowers, or even have movies nights because i'm not that manly and do enjoy a chick flick or that my favorite movies consist of serendipity, kate & leopold , return to me. And not Action movies... *sigh*... only a fool would have the courage to talk to her knowing he'd be shot down.. but i wish i could just spend one day in the life of a fool...

My confession

id love to feel those nails scratch into my back as i thrust into you slowly and deep as you lay your head back and let me kiss your throat as i grip my hands behind you and move you up and down on me run your fingers over my face and head as you lean foward and kiss me rocking back and forth ontop of me and i run my fingers through the back of your hair and neck as your body starts getting warmer and breaking a sweat you grip me closer to your body and breath heavily in my ear throwing your head and body back as i hold on to you grab my head and pull me towards your chest as i kiss and lick slowly around your breasts and bite them gently then have you throw me down on my back as you grip your hands on my chest and grind ontop of me faster and harder...you lean in to kiss me and pull away bitting my bottom lip as i grab your hair and pull it back you pull your hands away from my chest and lean back to support your self as you move your hips up and down ontop of me and i push up against you griping my hands over your waist and pressing my thumbs over your pelvic bone to make your g spot hit me just right with every push and pull...as you start getting wetter i throw you off of me and lay you on your back and go down on you slowly running my tongue in circles around your clit as you run your finger nails over my head and pull me into you to let my tongue slide deeper inside of you as i twirl it up and down gently placing your clit between my lips and licking it side to side while i finger your g spot and make chills go up and down your spine, then kiss my way up your body to your lips as you stroke me off with your hand and guide me deep inside of you throwing your legs over my shoulder and puting it in deeper as i place a pillow under your lower back to make sure you feel every inch of me throbbing inside of you as your face starting feeling flush with warmth and you grip your nails into my shoulder getting wetter, and wetter, feeling it build up after each push releasing your legs as you wrap them around my waist and grind upwards onto me as i push against you and you grip the sheets as you breath heavier and get light headed, your eyes slowly go back even though your breathing faster, you cant help but feel the urge of dizzyness as you grip the sheets tighter and rub your clit faster in circles while you cum ontop of me, all over as the rush of energy swarms your body and your body twitches.... you calmly slow down your breathing and pull me into you to kiss you slowly as i lay ontop of you and fall to the side...turning towards me i run my fingers through the sides of your hair to brush it away from your face.. and kiss you slowly as we lay down side by side enjoying the moment of love and passion...

I need a sedative, i must crave my thirst...

The day june 7th. My boy Terrance calls me up to meet up because his girlfriend wants to borrow my laptop for some school essays. I was suppose to meet up with a cute girl i met name Stephanie, but she blew me off so my boy encouraged me to go to his place because his girlfriend had a friend there as well. I drive up at the spot and walk into his living room where they are all chilling, and her friend caught my eye like an angel in a vivid picture of abstract strokes of paint in this image called life. I was kind of high but i was feeling good. She started talking to me and the moment paused as her voice reached across the room to ask me questions. She had beautiful skin tone color and long legs with a smile any woman would envy if she came into a crowded place. Her name was Camille. She kept the conversation going about music, movies and foreign films. Things i carry as a deep part of my life. I decided to get some starbucks for my cotton mouth and asked if she would like to go with me, she said yes in a heartbeat and we went. I got her and myself a drink and we sat down and talked about our different paths in life and what we were into. She was very reserved but simple, and straight forward. Her voice pierced me like strings on a violin to my ears. This girl had so much in her path of life that she was exploring, just like me. We went back put on a movie, and it seemed like that moment that we shared just went away. I felt isolated, as if i had done something wrong, but i cant stop thinking about her. Her energy, her life, her body, her smile. Did i do something wrong? did i not do something i should've done? If i wasn't high i would have been the hyper outgoing person that i am, but i just felt like the thing to do was be a gentlemen to her. I couldn't treat her like other girls that i met where i just wanted to get into her pants or create one night stands or adventure. But now i ponder if that would've been the right choice for a fast paced girl like herself, maybe she wanted me to be an adventure. Should i message her and ask her if shes just DTF? I mean i dont want a relationship but if it happens, id be happy, but maybe this girl would be the next adventure i need in my life? Someone with no strings attached, all out fun, and if it grew into something more then great, if not, it was a good ride. #pause Why is it you meet the right people at the wrong time? Or things go great and when you least expect it, you feel as if everything went wrong, or you did something wrong? Maybe her friend told her about me and how i am a playboy, but thats not what i choose to be, i just want to explore life and its options, if hearts get broken, thats life. My heart was broken many times before as well. But i wont stop that from my next adventure. I hope she talks to me again... I just want one night to get the answers i need. Be it conversation, love making, a quick sex act, girls are like drugs in my blood that i cant stop, its an addiction. I'm thirsty... i won't stop, i cant stop. till i find a sedative...

immensity!

You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give, Going to say something and mixing two words together and sounding retarded, "So.... guess who texted me..", Everyone is Online Except the Only Person I Actually Want to Talk to, HAHA do you remember when...? Oh, that wasnt you., "LOL" no longer means "laugh out loud" it means, I have nothing else to say, I will re-read our conversation a million times because it made me smile :), 63 Notifications Later and I regret Liking Your Status, Beer Pong!, Just kidding, but seriously., Using your phone very strategically when it hits "Low Battery", *Text sending* NOO WRONG PERSON, CANCEL!!, too late:(, You instantly piss me off when I see you., Looking Down At Your Cell Phone To Avoid Someone Walking By, I stay up late every night, and realize it's a bad idea every morning., Recieve text, start replying, forget what it said, save to drafts, reread!, Just because we're not close anymore doesn't mean I dont care about you., When people ask stupid questions I am obligated to give a sarcastic reply., chill, he was my friend before he was your boyfriend., I hate awkwardly passing by someone i'm not friends with anymore, Open fridge, nothing. Freezer? nothing. Might as well try the fridge again., I was sleeping. No, I'm not mad at you, upset, dead, or ignoring you., you actually are pretty, but because i hate you, you're ugly., I can tell somethings wrong just by the way you text me., Shes my best friend of course im going to tell her everything you just said, Got Bored So i Logged Off, Then Logged back on Because i got bored.., I'm NOT flirting!! its called BEING NICE!, You know girls are mad when they end one word sentences with a period, You just texed me, I responded, and now you're not going to text me back?, Realizing in the middle of telling your story that it isn't actually funny, Pinky Promises are Serious, No, it wasn't awkward until you said, "This is awkward." Now it's awkward., Reading my "sent" messages cause I cant remember what I just said to you., Yes, I do feel better when theres a smiley in the text you send me, Stopping the microwave before it hits 0:00 to avoid hearing the "BEEP"s, I was waiting for a reply and then realized I never even sent the last text, Texting the person next to you stuff you cant say out loud, I hate trying to explain 'You had to be there' moments, I Try To Finish My Dream By Trying To Sleep Again After Waking Up, Hello Kitty!, The Boiling Crab, That Moment of joy when you see your food coming in a restaurant, I hate thinking I've found a parking spot & it turns out to be a small car., I'm Staring at My Closet Full of Clothes But I Have Nothing To Wear, I Have No Idea What You Just Said, but I said "Yeah" And Laughed., I'm NEVER drinking again!!! (till next week)

Dreams, Reality, And Why?

You dream every night, watch movies that take you to a whole new world but when its over your memory gains focus. And as you might be walking outside the theater, stretching and look outside your window, you think... Why can't my life be this way? or that way? Reality snaps in as you get into the parking lot or walk outside your place looking around in a daze thinking this is my life. You try to make dreams come true. Thinking if you plan your life a certain way, that maybe it will change. If you make the next move, maybe you can get out of this hell hole, but you can't. You buy scratchers and lotto tickets hoping to hit the right numbers to win big, or go to a bar drinking, thinking you'll meet someone good enough for the moment of need but things don't change. Sometimes your life gets put on pause because of a special someone, in your life, leaving your life, being brought to life, like a child perhaps but soon it fades away once more, and you find yourself, unhappy. So what is life suppose to be? Why can only the few make it to that happy place in their lives where they have money, fame, fortune? How happy are they really? We just look at the media and what they have to say, they go in and out of relationships, marriages, divorces, drug and alcohol rehab. But they still look happy in the end right eh? So what is our key to happiness? some look for religion others read books, watch movies all the time, believe in psychics or don't believe in anything. I can't tell you how to make your life happy, or succeed because i'm just as useless as a self improvement book you pick up at Boarders or Barnes n' Nobles. I could be that person that tells you everything you want to hear because your just to naive to hear it 98% of the time from someone else, but when the right person comes along you can listen. L.I.F.E. to me stands for LIVE - Live everyday as if it were your last and always take chances. INDEPENDENT - You cant rely on anyone else and expect it to be fine if you cant rely on yourself first. be independent. FORGET - Forget the past, what you went through, memories, they just hold you back from achieving tomorrow today. EMBRACE - Embrace everything around you, don't take anything for granted. Life is only bound by the rules you set for yourself. You should forget those too. Most people take what they learned or know and improve it take caution the next time around well thats for idiots. Your only setting yourself up to master one trait, You can learn so much more just by using yourself. You built something? Aw thats great, now DESTROY IT! and take what you know, and make something new. MAKE SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY. only then can you actually make a masterpiece. Ever watch those movies where a painter or a writer was writing something, then tears off the page and throws it in the trash? it wasn't good enough, he started over. Do that with your life day after day, and you will find new meanings and new ways to live everyday. Me? well i just write blogs and make you guys read it, who knows, maybe one day it will make me famous too. NOW GET BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND STOP ACTING LIKE SOMEONE YOUR NOT IN THE CYBER WORLD!

Fireplace romance...

As you walk in from a long day of work you come in to see candles and a blanket down by the fireplace with two glasses of wine and some rose peddles with a single rose for you and stand behind you to kiss the back of your neck and embrase you close while i run my hands up your sides and slide your shoulder straps down and let your dress fall the floor and hold your hands in mine while you guide me to glide over your stomach and place my thumbs around the sides of your thong and pull it down slowly while i move my lips down to your shoulders and sides of your arms as you lay your head back on my shoulder and close your eyes turn you around and hold your hands behind your back and let you wrap them around my neck while i kiss your lips gently and lay you down on the floor slowly laying down ontop of you and run the rose over your stomach and kiss down your body to your inner thighs while my fingers travel your body lighter then a feathers touch to lift your leg over my shoulder as i kiss your inner thigh and rub you leg with my hand as i guide it to lift your leg up and kiss down your thigh to your calves and make my way to your feet while i gently kiss your inner soul and gently kiss your toes placing them in my mouth and wraping my tongue around them softly and then id go to your other foot and work my way up the other side till im on top of you and kissing you slowly on your shoulder and rubbing your body up and you wrap your legs around me as i whisper i want you in your ear and softly nibble on your ear lobe and you place your hands down my chest to take off my shirt and undo my belt as you see the fireplaces flames flickering off of our skin and shadows in the night take the glass of wine and pour it on your chest a little while i use my tongue and drink it off your body elegantly then you close your eyes and pull me in for a kiss as you taste the sweet taste of it off my lips and embrace me closer to your body as our bodies make shadows in the night wraping our bodies entwined with your fingers clasping to my back and skin as you feel a warm sination all over your body and get my belt off to grab me and pull me in you deeply while we match eachothers motion....


#twitterafterdark @graffiki

Exotic bath...

Let me light candles all over the house before you come home with a trail of hursheys kisses leading from the door to the bathroom with a nice warm bath full of rose peddles, and let you soak your body in it while i take a cloth and wash your body down gently with dove bodywash, massaging your stressed shoulders with my hands, and then work my way down lifting your leg out of the water and massaging your calves washing all the way down to your feet. and then draining the water while i kiss your neck and undress myself, and stand you up while i turn on the shower to pull you into and take the shower handle and wash your body down while i kiss you passionatly and let the water hit your clit to massage it as you take your hand and stroke me slowly making it get hard in your hand as you turn around and put it in you deeply and i push your body up against the steamed glass on the glass shower door with your hands trying to grip onto condisation building up from the steam. pushing it deeper as i hit the right spot and rub your body down gripping your skin against my hands . pushing harder as it throbbs deep inside of you and grabing your hips to pull you onto my faster as your heart rate builds up and you feel the steam through your body as you inhale and exhale faster while i gently rub your clit in small circles and nibble on your ear lobe and bite your shoulder, then right when you feel your body heat up with excitement i'll pull out and turn you around wraping your arms around my neck kissing me bitting my bottom lip as i grab your thighs and lift you up embracing your legs around my waist and thrust into you up against the shower while, as our bodies intwine with passion and you move up and down ontop of me feeling your whole body with hot and cold sensations running your fingers through my hair. Hardly being able to see my face through all the steam but smelling the bodywash drip off of our bodies as you look up and let your eyes roll back and squeeze your whole body around me tighter and dig your nails into my shoulder as you bite your bottom lip and let your cum drip down my hard shaft while your body trembles as you have a multiple orgasim ontop of me.


#twitterafterdark follow me @graffiki

The Bipolar Polarbear

The Bipolar Polarbear sat in his iglue all cozy and warm,
Fished by the lake and collected salmon and more.
He wished he was happy, sometimes he got mad,
He wished he was a forest bear,
that made him quiet sad.
People thought he was really bipolar,
they laughed at him and pointed, but he didnt care,
But what made him the most angry,
Was when they called him a Bi-Polarbear!

Sometimes he would wish that he had a nice hubby,
But nobody wanted him because he was chubby.
I liked him though,
He's really quite fluffy.
What a cool friend to have on this ice land,
Thats so cold a snuffy!
I thought to myself,
Could i be gay?
If i was, would it be okay?
Me and nuck chuck fluck buck,
Both like wale blubber
But me i always had a crazy fetish for rubber.

A'Last! surprise! Bipolar Polarbear isnt a Guy at all!
It was a female...this whole entire time
And now i can see passed the fur to those Tight virgin walls!
I'm not gay, Its great! Women are the best!
But why does this bipolar Polarbear have a hairy, hairy chest? ( - - )

-Graffiki

Another night alone...

Thank you for leaving me all alone again, hanging on time waiting for a phone call. I'm really glad you care enough to call me back and tell me something came up... I ... *beep* (we're sorry the voice mail box belonging to: ^^^^ is now full. Goodbye) "sigh", damn, so whose more important that your investing your time in? Not wanting to pick up my call again. I know you see me on your callerID and hit foward. Why does it have to be like this? damnit ^^^^! why did you do this to me again...

The time is 630pm on a friday night, waiting for a long awaited night out with a friend, more then a friend i should say. I took a shower and spent all day cleaning up my room just to make sure it looked nice if we decieded to come back to my place. I always put my guitar out on its' stand in plain view, just so people think i might be artistic. Girls love that. Placed the laptop over by the sound system and downloaded a new app called remote for my iphone so i can play music without leaving the bed. Took a long hot shower and groomed, put my best clothes out to wear for the night and took my car to the self carwash to make it look nice. Fuck!, should i put the lotion and body oil near the candles by the bed? or will she think im a freak?, man its been so long since i've been on a date. What if she thinks i look different? is that a good or a bad sign? aw man im thinking to much!. *phone rings* sweet thats her! (answers): "hello?, oh... hey man whats up?" (sounded tired), "nah man i just got off work, im pretty beat, had a long 10 hour shift today i was just about to fall asleep, but hey i gotta go this nyquil is kickin in. Aiight, later bro"... damn it wasnt her... I hope she didn't forget, tonight was suppose to be our night together.


I spent the next few hours not worrying about it, maybe shes just taking awhile to get ready, you know girls take forever to get ready for this kind of stuff. I'll just browse twitter and kick it for a bit in a tinychat.


TIME: 8:30pm Friday

Damn its 830 and still no call, maybe i should text her. ("hey whats up? your still comming over right? i got our tickets for the show ready. Hope nothing happend, wel get back at me")

(no reply)


Sometimes girls don't know the anticipation that guys go through just to try an impress them or get in their pants. yeah i was thinkin about hittin it, i wont lie. You never know what might happen on a date, but always got to be prepared.

TIME: 9:00pm

Damn... another night alone...

(graffiki has signed off)