I need a sedative, i must crave my thirst...

The day june 7th. My boy Terrance calls me up to meet up because his girlfriend wants to borrow my laptop for some school essays. I was suppose to meet up with a cute girl i met name Stephanie, but she blew me off so my boy encouraged me to go to his place because his girlfriend had a friend there as well. I drive up at the spot and walk into his living room where they are all chilling, and her friend caught my eye like an angel in a vivid picture of abstract strokes of paint in this image called life. I was kind of high but i was feeling good. She started talking to me and the moment paused as her voice reached across the room to ask me questions. She had beautiful skin tone color and long legs with a smile any woman would envy if she came into a crowded place. Her name was Camille. She kept the conversation going about music, movies and foreign films. Things i carry as a deep part of my life. I decided to get some starbucks for my cotton mouth and asked if she would like to go with me, she said yes in a heartbeat and we went. I got her and myself a drink and we sat down and talked about our different paths in life and what we were into. She was very reserved but simple, and straight forward. Her voice pierced me like strings on a violin to my ears. This girl had so much in her path of life that she was exploring, just like me. We went back put on a movie, and it seemed like that moment that we shared just went away. I felt isolated, as if i had done something wrong, but i cant stop thinking about her. Her energy, her life, her body, her smile. Did i do something wrong? did i not do something i should've done? If i wasn't high i would have been the hyper outgoing person that i am, but i just felt like the thing to do was be a gentlemen to her. I couldn't treat her like other girls that i met where i just wanted to get into her pants or create one night stands or adventure. But now i ponder if that would've been the right choice for a fast paced girl like herself, maybe she wanted me to be an adventure. Should i message her and ask her if shes just DTF? I mean i dont want a relationship but if it happens, id be happy, but maybe this girl would be the next adventure i need in my life? Someone with no strings attached, all out fun, and if it grew into something more then great, if not, it was a good ride. #pause Why is it you meet the right people at the wrong time? Or things go great and when you least expect it, you feel as if everything went wrong, or you did something wrong? Maybe her friend told her about me and how i am a playboy, but thats not what i choose to be, i just want to explore life and its options, if hearts get broken, thats life. My heart was broken many times before as well. But i wont stop that from my next adventure. I hope she talks to me again... I just want one night to get the answers i need. Be it conversation, love making, a quick sex act, girls are like drugs in my blood that i cant stop, its an addiction. I'm thirsty... i won't stop, i cant stop. till i find a sedative...